Director: Michael Tiddes
Writers: Rick Alvarez, Mike Glock and Marlon Wayans
Starring: Marlon Wayans (x6), Bresha Webb, Michael Ian Black
Father-to-be Alan (Wayans) grew up an orphan and tries to uncover some facts about his past and is shocked to learn that he was born a sextuplet. After finding one his siblings, Russell (also Wayans) the two of them embark on a quest to reunite with their other long-lost siblings (all also played by Wayans).
I will always have a soft spot for Marlon Wayans as he is one quarter of the four main actors in my favourite film of all time (Requiem for a Dream), and he proved in that film that he is capable of being a good actor. However, since then he has turned up in some truly awful films that would make even the most open-minded soul question whether western civilization is now doomed simply by the fact people have let some of Marlon Wayans’ films be made.
Well, his track record of ‘comedy’ films is (to put it mildly) slightly questionable, and though he may not have his brother on board this time, Sextuplets is still one of those films that makes us question the point in life and realise that if some sentient beings thought funding a film with this script was a good idea, then the human race is well and truly doomed and the sooner the apocalypse comes, the better, as it at least means this man will stop making films!
The concept alone is fine, and though not exactly original, if written well it could be at least a bit of fun. No; watching Sextuplets is as much fun as suffering from severe food poisoning and the only thing memorable or thought provoking about it is that those of us that pay for a Netflix subscription have in some way participated in the funding of it.
For the entirety of the film’s 100 minutes we get a painfully predictable narrative that feels like a very poor man’s The Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (and that was rubbish!) that just features Marlon Wayans (either as himself or wearing lots of make-up) overacting and screeching a lot. With the introduction of each of the ‘characters’ he plays the film manages to somehow sink to a new low each time, with a ghastly collection of painfully annoying caricatures that are based on extremely and quite offensive, lazy clichés.
Netflix do give us the occasional great film, but alas most of their ‘original’ films are forgettable nonsense, but Sextuplets makes Adam Sandler and David Spader’s recent offerings look like Citizen Kane, as it does almost feel like these films seem to be made badly on purpose as all involved think film fans have one brain cell between them and will laugh at the most basic, putrid joke. There is plenty of choice on Netflix, so I would implore all to not even consider giving Sextuplets a watch for even a few minutes – time is too precious!
Netflix’s latest is a horrible attack on the senses; Sextuplets is vile, lazy rubbish that is not only anti-funny, but actually ventures into the realms of hateful. Its mere existence is an insult to the intelligence of most human beings.
I truly believe that South Park got the greenlight process of Netflix exactly right:
“hello, this is Netflix, you’re greenlit, who am I speaking with?”
By the way, we are surely doomed, this is just one of many signs! :–)